HealthcareHow to Talk to Your Parents About Moving Into Aged Care

Starting a conversation with your parents about moving into aged care can be one of the most emotionally delicate discussions you’ll ever have. It’s a topic often surrounded by fear, resistance, and uncertainty—both for your parents and for yourself. However, with empathy, preparation and the right approach, this conversation can become a gateway to better care, safety, and quality of life for your loved ones. Whether you’re noticing early signs that your parent is struggling at home or responding to a recent health event, here’s how to navigate the discussion with sensitivity and support.

Do Your Homework First

Before initiating the conversation, gather information about aged care options available in your area. Understand the differences between home care, respite care, assisted living, and residential aged care. This will allow you to answer questions with confidence and offer real choices rather than vague suggestions. Consider exploring organisations like ADEC, which support culturally diverse communities and provide valuable resources for families navigating aged care services.

Choose the Right Time and Place

Avoid springing the conversation on your parents during a stressful or emotionally charged moment. Instead, choose a quiet, comfortable time when everyone is calm and has the space to engage in a meaningful discussion. A familiar setting, like the family home or over a relaxed cup of tea, often works best.

Lead With Empathy, Not Pressure

Start by expressing concern from a place of care. For example: “We’ve noticed you’ve been having a harder time getting around lately, and we just want to make sure you’re safe and supported.” Avoid using language that makes your parents feel like they’re losing independence or being forced into a decision. Emphasise that the goal is to enhance their quality of life—not take it away.

Listen More Than You Speak

Give your parents plenty of space to share their thoughts, fears and preferences. They may be worried about losing their home, their routines, or their sense of identity. Validating these feelings goes a long way. Use active listening and gentle prompts such as:

“How do you feel about the idea of getting some extra help?” Remember, you’re not there to “win” the conversation, but to open an ongoing dialogue built on trust.

Involve Them in the Decision-Making Process

If aged care becomes a likely next step, ensure your parents are actively involved in choosing the path forward. Tour aged care facilities together, discuss home care service providers, and talk about location, cultural considerations, and daily routines. Including them in decisions will help preserve their dignity and autonomy throughout the transition.

Highlight the Positives

Reframe aged care as a means to enhance wellbeing rather than a loss of independence. Highlight the benefits: access to health professionals, less stress over household chores, social engagement, and tailored support. You might say: “You’ll have your own space, plus the help you need—without having to worry about the cleaning or cooking every day.”

Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, involving a third party—like a GP, aged care consultant or social worker—can provide added perspective and authority. These professionals can help answer practical questions about assessments, funding, and eligibility, and offer reassurance to both you and your parents.

Be Patient and Revisit the Conversation

Moving into aged care is a major life change, and your parents may not be ready to decide straight away. Be prepared for multiple conversations over time. Continue to offer reassurance, listen to concerns, and adjust plans as needed. Patience and ongoing support are key.

Ready to get started?

Talking to your parents about aged care can feel daunting, but approaching the conversation with compassion and preparedness can lead to a safer, happier future for everyone involved. Keep the lines of communication open, seek out trusted resources, and remember—this journey is about honouring your parents’ needs and ensuring they continue to live with dignity, comfort, and care.